Don't tell me I'm the only one...
- Other writers sit down at their computers, tap out 50 pages, and then stretch and say, "Hmm... still another hour till lunch."
- Other writers do not pick up new books (or friends' drafts) with dread, afraid of another Crap! That's already been done too? moment.
- Other writers have memorized the Chicago Manual of Style, the dictionary, and Norton's Anthology of Really Impressive Poems. For fun.
- Other writers have secret parties where they drink Chardonnay and do imitations of saps who haven't finished their first novels yet.
- Other writers do not want to lie when asked, "So, what do you do?"
- Other writers do not forget how to spell their protagonists' names halfway through their drafts.
- Other writers do not stop in the middle of writing their climaxes and think, I'd really like a chicken sandwich.
- Other writers would not rather play with their cats than work.
- Other writers do not repeat with increasing desperation, "A novel is how many pages?"
- Other writers will be hunted down, one by one; shot with an elephant gun; and arranged to be found holding their least favorite books.